If you have a loved one with chronic pain, you’re probably wondering how you can support them better in dealing with this challenging and long-term situation. It might feel especially tricky to navigate if it’s a new partner, or a close friend who’s recently been diagnosed. Supporting someone with a lifelong condition may also feel daunting if you’re one of their primary caregivers.

10 GREAT WAYS TO SUPPORT A PARTNER, FAMILY MEMBER OR FRIEND LIVING WITH CHRONIC PAIN

  • 1. Listen

    First, listen. Don’t underestimate the power of being a present, authentic listener to your loved one – whether they’re telling you about their condition for the first time, telling you about their symptoms, or a particularly difficult experience they went through.

  • 2. Hear Understand, Accept

    Try to fully hear, understand and accept your partner’s condition and what they’re struggling with. One of the hardest things for you may be to accept your partner’s condition – that this is what it is, and that it’s probably never completely going away.

  • 3. Educate yourself

    Learn about the condition - and stay informed. Ask questions, accompany your loved one for doctor’s visits, and do some of your own research.

  • 4. Educate Resist the urge to jump in with solutions. yourself

    They’ve probably tried them all already. Sometimes this can be difficult – especially for those of us with very practical and solution driven personalities – but it can be very frustrating, and potentially insulting, to the person who’s tried everything, over many years.

  • 5. Offer to do some specific practical tasks

    Ask what you can do to help, or, if they don’t answer with anything specific, offer to do some specific practical tasks (washing dishes, collecting meds, driving them to appointments, for example).

  • 6. Take pride in the independence

    Once you’ve got your groove with your loved one, don’t keep offering to do things they’ve said no to – keep in mind that they probably also take pride in the independence they do have.

  • 7. Hugs and Cuddles

    Give them some hugs and cuddles: physical affection releases a powerful chemical, oxytocin, which actually acts as a natural anti-inflammatory! The power of an arm around you on the couch, or a passing squeeze, can be magical.

  • 8. Move your body

    Encourage your loved one to keep moving their body, even on bad days - walking, tidying up, dancing! And doing the exercises recommended by their physiotherapist, of course.

  • 9. Healthy Routine

    Support your partner in keeping a healthy routine - think regular sleep, sunlight exposure, healthy eating, avoiding unhealthy habits (drugs, drinking, smoking), regular social interactions (family meals, seeing friends), and outings. This is a big one!

  • 10. Proper Medical Care

    Advocate for proper medical care - the right healthcare team and specialists can make all the difference in lowering pain levels and building a better quality of life. It may also mean making appointments, driving them around, and reminding them – if they suffer with bad brain fog or feel very unmotivated. Â